#5 Ad Analyzing

Purpose: In the pure white background, the goldilocks with blue eyes is biting big red juicy apple. Their product is not in the ad but the image of biting apple shows that Iriver (the most popular mp3 player maker in Korea) ad is targeting on Apple which is the largest supplier in the world. By posting text "Sweeter One" in pink, this ad appeals that their product is better than Apple.

Audience: The beautiful blond young lady with blue eyes in this ad is intentionally aiming to young generation who is the main consumers of Ipods & other mp3 players. She is smiling as biting big apple in hand, looking viewers straight in the face that shows confidence, self-assurance, and enjoyment.

Genre: This ad is very different ads that Iriver produced for MP3 players before. The other ads always put their products up to appeal how those are stylish, pretty, modern, and user-friendly. However, Iriver is targeting on Apple to show their willingness of Apple overthrow in this ad.

Tone: Using of limited color of pure white in background, bright red apple, pretty pink in text and goldilocks in chic black turtleneck sweater all create illusion of Apple and stand against the mega-corporation in an imposing, provocative and exciting manner.

Revision

My final draft is not really different from my rough draft. When I write any draft, I usually outlining my thoughts in my own language then, I begin to write down my rough draft. Therefore my rough draft is not really the very first draft. Even though I'm outlining and write the essay carefully, there are numerous errors in sentence structure and tense mistakes. Also, I realized that I need to develop and be more descriptive on the specific part of my body paragraph from the peer reviewing. Thus, my final draft has more detail descriptions, fixed tenses, and developed body paragraph.

I didn’t make major revision to the content or organization. According to peer reviewing sheet, the reviewer understood my idea and topic that I want readers to recognize in my paper. I focused my idea as literacy narrative experience and used detailed descriptions to express my thoughts efficiently. However, the reviewer point out that I need to add more description in body paragraph, so I enhanced more explanations to it.  

         After revising my paper, I was able to my pattern of errors in tense. I’m still confusing in use of past and past participle. In addition, I tend to be use words overly. So, I had to read my sentences over and over again to fix my errors in tense and to write clearly using intensive words.

Absolutely, the peer review helped me a lot to make the revision. It is embarrassing to show my rough draft to others, but I easily found out my mistakes and weak parts. I'm sure that the peer reviewing is really effective method to improve my writing skill.

         The strongest aspect of my essay is organization. I tried to write clear and interesting introduction, developed and focused body paragraphs, and well-wrapped conclusion. The weakest part of my writing is sentence structure, especially in tense. I know I tend to make mistakes in tense and it is hard to learn and use in writing. Also I prone to repeat same sentence structures such as using “that” or “which”. These sentence structures usually make the essay wordy and bored.

What makes A or C paper?

1. Clearity, Focused, Unifying of idea.
An A paper is focused, clear, and specific.  Good writing is full of details for support and shows what is important about the topice. And the writing begins with interesting idea, thus, it keeps reader's attention. Focus refers to how clearly th paper presents and maintains a main idea, theme, necessary information or unifying point, while a poor paper focused on the topic and purpose that reader will have difficulty identifying the main idea or purpose of the paper.

2. Word Choice
An A paper's writer uses precise, fresh, original words and phrases. The writing is interesting to reada. Also, the writer chooses specific and vivid words and it will add strength to writing and enable readers to follow writer's idea and picture in their minds the things that writer describes. Beside, a poor paper's writer uses word choices that are confusing, unclear, or inappropriate.

3. Conventions
A good writing has few or no errors in puncuation, capitalization, grammar, and spelling. When writer representing the higher end of the scale follow, with few exceptions, the conventions of pucuation, capitallization, and spelling and use a variety of sentence structures to present ideas. A poor paper contains a lot of errors in conventions which interfere with understanding.

I always have problem with conventions and word choice which is all new to me as a foreigner. Grammars and sentence structure is all upside down compare to my mother tongue, so I always get confused with verb tence and espacially articles. Also the word choice is hard for me since my vocabulary is weak and poor. However, I can write easily unifying the point in paper. I state my idea clearly and focused. If I develop my grammar skill and sentence structure with abundant fancy words, it will my improve my paper with unified, clear, focused idea which are my strength..

For My Frist Paper

I would like to write about my first and the last award winning paper “The most effective person in my life, Grandma” I was in the middle school when I wrote the paper for the school writing contest and I am proud of myself that I received award for writing. The paper was written during the class and I never respected to win any prize. Even though it was just writing for the contest, while I was writing the essay about person, whom I the most respect in my life, I really thought about the power of love and caring.

I think I could write an effective paper about this topic because I clearly remember the situation and detail stories of the paper. It would be very interesting to write a paper that won the prize not only the first time but also the last time for my entire life. On the other hand, the paper was written in Korean, so I concerned that how I can describe the topic efficiently in English. Also the topic could be easily bragging about me, for example, “I wrote a great paper!”

Why I'm taking Eng 101

I am taking this class because it is required. However, I believe that all of colleges and universities require students to take English 101 because it is useful and helpful requirement for students’ future academic background and successful communication in any field of majors. Frankly speaking, I don’t like reading and writing. As a non-native speaker, learning another language is very hard. I have been struggling with speaking and writing compositions in English for many years. But I realized that studying English is very essential for my future career and academic life. Since I started to learn English, I know how important to write well is. Actually, our life is all surrounded by writing such as diary, notes, list for groceries, letters, texts, e-mails, etc. I would like to improve writing skills in this class to facilitate and apply for other classes that I’m taking now and in the future. I believe that efficient writing skills that I will learn in this class will flourish not only school life but also my social relationship down the road. To express my thoughts and ideas efficiently, I need to take English 101 and I will pass this class with full of knowledge and skills that I will use them to prepare my successful life.